It Takes All Kinds

So, I've got a few weeks of real good people watchin in and boy oh, boy could I go on for hours...Now I'm not really someone who makes fun of people, I realize it takes all kinds to make the world go round. Diversity and ...shall we say "eccentricity" is what make us all unique. Yesterday I was catching a flight from St. George, Utah to Salt Lake City. St. George is a tiny airport and everyone booked on the flight goes through security at the same time and sits in a room waiting to board the plane. Just as I am approaching the line for security a woman, looking frantic and frazzled comes barreling through the front door, boots in hand, she is pulling a roller bag, carrying a large bright pink carry-on bag, balancing a cup (empty cup I might add) and shouting "Is this the line for Salt Lake????". (I will preach it til my dying day people...Do not make eye contact with crazy). Making eye contact with crazy people is like inviting a vampire into your home, once they're in, it's over. Anyway, I decided that this woman's name is Marcie. She is much older than she is dressed, her hair is long and piled wildly on her head. She holds up the line by laying two bins out on the floor and proceeding to dig through what looks like about 12 ziploc bags to find the one that has the correct liquids and/or gels. She of course has on 12 tons of jewelry that would send the metal detectors into overload. Patience, patience...my mother always tells me I should learn patience........She finally gets her bins organized and places them on the belt. She leaves her roller bag about 5 feet behind her, directly in front of me. I'm going to have to do it, aren't I? "Ma'am, your bag..." she turns around....like a scene in a horror movie where the killer comes out of the darkness and his victim sees him appear...we make eye contact. "Thank you, honey" she says ( I will learn later that she calls everyone honey, at least nearly everyone she bumps into trying to bumble her way to the very back of the plane). She pulls the bag to where she is. She then proceeds to leave it...again.
Damn, not again, I think to myself. "Ma'am, your bag." She turns again, takes the bag and finally places it on the belt, where she proceeds to leave it again after it is x-rayed. To most people it would appear that this woman had maybe never flown before, but what I discovered through my keen sense of what some people would refer to as "eavesdropping"... but what I like to refer to as "taking in all the world around me" was that this was her third, yes THIRD, time through that security line that day. Seriously, by the third time, you should know the drill. The fun didn't stop there though, once she was on the plane she announced to everyone seated around her that she had drank too much water and had to use the bathroom, then held up the plane from taking off because she wouldn't shut her phone off because she was trying to tell her daughter what time to pick her up. In some ways I admire this woman. There are many times when I wish I could be one of those people who live and exist in only their own world. I think sometimes how great it would be to be oblivious to what's happening around me, but let's face it, I'm a rule follower. I have the security process at the airport down to a science, everything I need on the flight is with me when I sit my butt down in the seat. I've got a couple more good people watching stories, mostly about short, fat men peeing and their poor wardrobe choices, but I'll save that for next time....